How much is too much trust?

#MyThursdayThing

When I published my post last week, a friend responded, “It is always interesting to know what is happening with your life, Shubhra.”Well I won’t disappoint him, as I have an even more interesting tale to tell this week. My friend’s WhatsApp got hacked last week and the hacker reached out to almost all her contacts via groups, etc, impersonating her and asking for money. None of her hundreds of friends fell prey to the desperate call… except for yours truly. 

On one evening last week I saw a message on a group from my friend asking if I have Google Pay. I responded with a yes and then she came on a one-to-one WhatsApp and asked me if I can transfer Rs 4000 to her as she needed it urgently. To give a background, my friend and her husband—also a dear friend—are the sole care-givers to their elderly mothers. So, with two elderly moms in the house, lockdown and a night curfew, and all the fears that an anxious post-Corona mind can think of made me weave my own story when I received the message. I was convinced that one of the Moms was unwell and that her husband must be busy sorting some related issue and she needs to pay a vendor who at that hour can only be paid through Google Pay. The entire narrative was crystal clear and not in my wildest dreams did the thought cross that all this could be a fraud taking place. I did ask some relevant question about Google Pay and NEFT and then I made a call, unfortunately on WhatsApp. Since the WhatsApp was hacked, the hacker disconnected the phone, further confirming my story that something really wrong has happened and I must help.That’s what I did, I transferred Rs 4000 to a hacker thinking I was transferring it to my friend. And just as I finished the transaction, I got a message from her husband that her phone has been hacked. The face-palm emoji was hovering all around me but the deed was done.

What followed is what always happens post any accident, incident etc. Analyses, hind-sight, expert comments, advice, etc. Post the message about hacking, I called my friend’s husband and told him how I had already paid the money. Exasperated (since he had already been dealing with his wife’s hacked phone), he said, “But why would I ask you for Rs 4000? If I had to, I would have asked for more.” In my head, however, a voice prompted, “Because you know that I could give only 4000. For anything more, I am not the person to call.” Other friends in the closed group drew my attention to the English used. Some said, why would she ask for money on a group? I had answers for all as my story in my head was so convincing that stopping short of picking my car and going to their house I had imagined all possible support to offer them.

The next two days went in complaints to the bank and to the Cyber Cell. I wasn’t sure if I would get my money back. I was also relieved that it was only Rs 4000. However, I was intrigued at myself. So many people got the message, but I was the only one who took the bait. Why?  I guess I operated on trust. And in fact, something more than trust—the call of reason that should have made me call her husband when supposedly she cut the phone, or made me at least wait for a few more minutes, was totally overtaken by my imaginative fear that something was wrong. Do we all go through this when reason succumbs to fears? All the friends in the group laughed, conferring on me the status of the ultimate friend. I was told no one can come close to me in this one. I, on the other hand, was not so sure. I felt really childlike naïve and very foolish to have succumbed to such a thing when all around us there is news of how people get duped.

The ultimate validation to the whole thing (of being foolish and of being a great friend) came from the policeman who attended to my complaint. He called and asked me what happened. When I narrated the whole incident, his first point was, “Madam, itna padhe likhe hone ka kya fayda”(Madam, what is the use of being so educated?). I responded promptly saying how would I know that it is not my friend, what if she was in a genuine need? His next response hit the nail on the head, “Waise madam, isme koi shak nahi, bhagwan sab ko aapke jaise dost de. Par ye batao, itni jaldi emotional hone ki kya zaroorat thi aapko? Thoda pani peete, sochte, phone milate fir paise bhejte…”(There is no doubt, madam, that God should give everyone a friend like you. But why did you get emotional so quickly? You should have had a glass of water, thought a bit, made a call or two and then transferred money).

Probably in his Haryanvi accent he gave me a lesson for life, or food for thought. Making me realise that even when displaying empathy, one foot needs to be grounded in reason. Or that fear always gets the better of reason and one needs to be careful of that.

I got temporary credit from my bank for the amount I had transferred and the police told me no point trying to waste time on the hacker, just be careful next time. It indeed was an interesting and philosophical week. So much so that I needed a break after all this. I packed all my art material and came to my mother’s house along with my sister. Meeting my parents after 4 months of lockdown was definitely a balm and a much-needed break from the action back home.

©Shubhra

#7  July 17th, 2020

#MyThursdayThing will be published every Thursday, on my blog https://shubhrathoughts.blogspot.com/  and shared on my social media handles.