“When in doubt remember…

My grandfather was a Civil Engineer who specialised in ground water issues. A graduate from Roorkie University ( when it was called Thomson College), joined the irrigation department and worked initially under the British and then for many years for the UP government. He was instrumental in the building of many dams and consulting on some very big hydel projects. Later he joined the Roorkie University as a professor in Civil Engineering department and retired as the head of the department.  He contributed a great deal in the nation building and was instrumental in seeing India progress toward self sufficiency. My grandmother also did her bit by being a support to him and even otherwise. When the 1962, war happened she and many ladies like her knitted sweaters for the soldiers. They even donated gold to the government to fund the war. This background was needed to put in context the content of this blog.

When I was a child, one day I asked my Grandmother, “Dadi, why did baba not participate in the freedom struggle, especially when he was  Gandhiji’s follower, instead he worked for the British?” She replied, “Not everyone can go out on the street and fight, he had to take care of the house and his family also” I am not sure as a child if I clearly understood that statement or accepted that answer.

The story goes such that my grandmother was my Grandfather’s 2^nd wife. His 1^st wife died out of some illness. He was so distressed that he actually wanted to leave everything and join the freedom movement with Gandhiji. He was however coaxed by his family to not quit his work and soon he got married again, this time to our grandmother. They had 4 children and as mentioned above in post independence period the contribution of my grandfather was notable. In the hall of fame of Roorkie University, he has been mentioned as one of the pillars of the university. Those who study and work in ground water issues would know that there is a Chaturvedi Theory by him. So he did contribute to this country in ways that only he could have done.

However, my grandfather’s story is not the main part of this blog. The main focus is when the need arises should we or should we not fight for our rights, for our fellow country men’s rights, for our freedom, our expression?  I have been told many times by my family and friends not to speak on social media, not to unnecessarily take up issues, not to participate in protests. They operate out of concern for me and out of fear that something may go wrong. The technology is up there and Government or agencies these days can track anyone they wish to.  I do not deny that the concern of my loved ones is not in vain… However I still do what I do…  Maybe I am in a state of denial that nothing will happen to people like us; we are small fish for the big brother. Maybe I am dictated by the quote “When in doubt remember, if not me then who? If not now then when?” But maybe just maybe somewhere I react and respond to the question of that little girl who asked her Grandmother, “why did baba not fight?” Maybe I want, that tomorrow when my grandchildren (children of my nieces and nephews) ask me where you were, or what did you do? I can say that I fought. I stood up. I was there when it mattered.

If we fight today then maybe we can see a tomorrow where a different kind of nation building will be possible. If we do not, then maybe tomorrow we will cease to see the nation as it should be and it may be too late then… The contributions of people like my grandfather and those before him who actually fought the mighty may all go waste.  Next time someone dear warns me or deters me, I will have to repeat, “When in doubt remember, if not me then who? If not now then when?”

© Shubhra
August 16, 2019