Jai Ho…

#MyThursdayThing

“Guruji, Pranam! Aapne pehchana hume?”“Bilkul, tumne aur maine, dono ne amma ki sewa ki hai, tumko kaise nahi pehchanuga? ”This was my last interaction with Guruji, Pandit Jasraj, at the Nehru Park, in March 2019 after his performance. He was performing for Spic Macay’s, Music in the Park series.

Ever since I came to Delhi for my graduation, I have listened to live concerts from all genres. Specially, Hindustani classical music, thanks to Spic Macay. I had a chance to listen to Pandit Jasraj also a couple of times at Spic Macay events in college or with my uncle at elite gatherings in places like Ashoka Hotel, Siri Fort Auditorium, etc. However, my real introduction to Pandit Jasraj and his music happened about 15 years ago, when I met my Guru, Mrs Som Tewari. She was about 5 years older to Panditji and they were both disciples of Panditji’s elder brother Pandit Mani Ram, a stalwart of the Mewati Gharana. Amma, as she was called by all of us, including Panditji (she had adopted him as a son), played an important role in his musical journey. There are many stories from those days that she used to tell us, including the fact that when Amma started Sangeet Shyamala in (then called) Calcutta in 1952. Panditji was one of the first teachers there. Their connection was deep and they nurtured a bond that lasted a lifetime. Even when his career soared and his life in Mumbai got busier, Amma would always be a part of it and whenever he was in Delhi, he would make it a point to visit her at her home.

When I met Amma in 2005, we had an instant connection. She was the most progressive and spirited woman I had come across. She had an unmatched zeal for life. Every time there was a concert in the city, we would call each other and make a plan to go and see it together. I have seen so many live performances of Panditji with her. Being her chaperon at such outings, I would get to sit right in front and occasionally meet Panditji before or after the performance.

I remember an instance when he was in town for a performance and I learnt about it from a friend. I assumed that Amma would be aware of the same and I called her up, “Amma, aap aaj Panditji ka performance dekhne chalengi? Hum aapko pick karein?” (Amma, will you come for Panditji’s performance, should I pick you up). She replied that she wasn’t aware of the performance and replied, “achcha, Jasraj ne to humme bataya nahi…”. Since the venue was far or because she was upset, she didn’t come for the performance. I, however, went in the evening and then at the baithak, when there was a break, I went to meet Panditji. I introduced myself, “Guruji, Pranam, hum Amma ki shishya hain, Shubhra, aapse mile hain pehle unke saath. (Guruji, greetings, I am Amma’s student, Shubhra. I’ve met you with her earlier.) He at once reacted, “to tum ho jisne meri chugli ki. Arre maine socha, amma kahan itni door aayengi, kal subah airport jate samay unse milta jaunga, to phone nahi kiya…mujhe kya malum thaki un tak khabar pahunch jayegi… tumne daant padwa di mujhe.”(Oh, so you are the one who told her. I thought this would be too far for Amma to travel so tomorrow I would drop in to meet her on the way to the airport. How was I to know she would find out. You got me a scolding.) I also responded, “Sahi to hai guruji, ab aap phone nahi karenge to daant to padegi, mujhekya malum aapne unhe nahi bataya, hum to hamesha ki tarah unhe la rahe the apne saath.”(Well, if you don’t call, you deserve a scolding. How would I know you haven’t called her? I was going to bring her with me like always). He touched his ears and said that he vows that he will never do this again. Held my hand and had a good laugh and said “tum to meri guru behan hui, hum dono hi amma ke shagird hain”(you are my guru-sister, since we are both her students).

I met him several times post that and I was surprised he still remembered me. When Amma was unwell and in the hospital, he came to Delhi and would visit her in the hospital (though on a wheel chair himself) every other day, including on her 90^thbirthday, which was unfortunately celebrated at the hospital. He would hold her hand and sing to her in the ICU room. Her passing away in 2015, was a personal loss to him.

A year later, on Amma’s death anniversary, he called from Mumbai. I had his number on my phone but I had never spoken to him. To see the number flashing had me all nervous, but he softly said “Shubhra bol rahi hain?”(Is that Shubhra?) I said Ji Guruji, and he replied, “Aaj Amma ki punya tithi hai aur amma aayi thi mere yahan”(today is Amma’s death anniversary and she came to me). He narrated an incident when he found her photograph kept on his pillow when there was no one in room to have moved it from where it was displayed. He called me because he knew that my bond with Amma was special and one that is etched in my memory. Each year after Amma’s demise, on her birthday, Vasundhra (her daughter, my mentor and now the Director of Sangeet Shymala) would organize a remembrance with either an exhibition or a performance and Guruji, blessed the occasion. That was his bond with Amma and with all who were close to Amma. He was special for Amma and Amma was special for him. If there is an afterlife, then he must have united with her and they must be singing Raag Nat Narayan, a signature raag of the Mewati Gharana.

Guruji passed away in the US on the 17^th of August at the age of 90. His remains were brought back and yesterday, on the 20^th of August, he was bid goodbye with full state honors.

I am fortunate that I got a chance to get to know these stalwarts of music. From Amma, apart from learning music, I learnt a lot about life, art, culture. I hope to carry forward her legacy, if not through practicing music (which I feel has gone away with her), at least through art, culture and appreciation of music. From Guruji, I learnt about how an artiste never retires. At the age of 90, he was still at it and singing. He had many performances lined up and would have been performing, had the pandemic not struck. But this was not meant to be. The show ended, the curtains came down and with him an era of music of the Mewati Gharana has come to an end.

Yesterday evening the sun set on the world of Indian Classical Music.

Jai Ho, Guruji!

©Shubhra
#10 August 20th, 2020

#MyThursdayThing will be published every Thursday, on my blog https://shubhrathoughts.blogspot.com/  and shared on my social media handles.

Why I didn’t write last week…

#MyThursdayThing

When I have to publish the blog on Thursday, I generally start thinking about what I would like to share this week from Monday. Last week also I was in a similar frame of mind. Having attended a poetry workshop on Sunday, I was thinking of talking about that. However, I wasn’t feeling very good inside. I procrastinated, not knowing what was it that was making me not want to write. I didn’t want to force myself and I still had time, but time passed. Tuesday—Wednesday— now Thursday… I wasn’t still feeling up to it. As Thursday passed, I let the day go and I didn’t write, assuming no one would notice. However, on Saturday, I got an email from a dear friend who castigated me saying “your thursdaything is getting more irregular than regular”.  I owed it to him to let him know what was happening within me.

That week, the country’s tally for new coronavirus cases stood at no. 1, surpassing the US. That week also marked one year of a change of status of Jammu and Kashmir and was a week when the PM of our country laid the foundation of the Ram temple at Ayodhya.

I was silent, reconciled to the new normal in many ways and woke up on Thursday with a sinking feeling. The time when all the resources in the country needed to be deployed at fighting the coronavirus, the country’s priority was a Ram temple. Millions in the country got affected badly due to the lockdown and the coronavirus pandemic, but the government was celebrating Ram. The medical fraternity in the country had been working relentlessly since February, fighting the pandemic and the people were celebrating a Ram temple. I had never before felt so helpless. We were almost officially a Hindu nation and that did not feel right at all. We had failed or almost failed the constitution because the religious and state boundaries were getting blurred.

The events of that week also brought back memories of my growing up years when I saw the rise of this Hindu sentiment up close, in my home town Kanpur. The run up to the Babri Masjid demolition, the communal riots that followed in Uttar Pradesh and Bombay and the 1993 Bombay Bomb blasts.  Over the years the politics of this communal game only got clearer with the innumerous terrorist attacks, Godhra accident, Gujrat riots, and so many more incidents. In those years, when my understanding of this country’s politics was taking shape, I had even written an open letter to LK Advani, saying we don’t need a temple; we need jobs and a stable economy. However, looking at the state of the nation today and the jubilation that was experienced last year when a part of us were locked in their own state while their fate was rewritten and then the celebration for a Ram temple amidst the world’s most severe health crisis, makes me realize that maybe the people of the country do need, just a Ram temple.

Every time an event like those of last week happen, the country and its people get further divided and polarized.  The division or the cracks are for all to see; it is right there in our face and cuts across the heart. That to my mind is the real partition that is being witnessed now and is much more frightening than the physical one of 1947. This rise of religion and in its name the ongoing and unending violence and bloodshed makes me numb almost akin to being in a sinking ship. I am unable to take any action in terms of writing or art and everything feels hopeless.  I guess that hopelessness is what gripped me last week.

However, stand up we must and speak we must and write we must and paint we must, for then we will know that in our despondency, we may not be alone, that there may be many like us. Through my actions then I may be able to give another a voice or hope and I may give myself a push to do that which I have promised to do, and so here I am  the next week writing, talking, sharing and hoping I am not alone.

©Shubhra
#9 August 13th, 2020

#MyThursdayThing will be published every Thursday, on my blog https://shubhrathoughts.blogspot.com/  and shared on my social media handles.