Everyone is writing/tweeting about #metoo in India. Either coming out and having the courage to tell their story, or to express what is it that they feel when they hear about the experiences of these women or the silence /apologies etc of the men...
I wanted to stay quiet on the subject but decided not to... People are angry with those who sided with the abusers and or did not take action when they received the complain... Rightly so... However I am not angry with this category of people who stay silent... We all have to make a choice when we are faced with a situation and let me tell you most people men and women do not have the courage.
Before becoming an artist I was in the corporate world and for more than a decade. I was in the HR side and most of my experience was in media houses. I experienced sexual assault from the day 1 of my career. Either as a victim or sometimes as the one people came to when they faced with a situation... I was 25, in my 1st job as a trainee, in the 1st week itself... The VP admin, (an ex fauji) , touched me inappropriately in an open office on the sly and when saw the shocked look on my face went away laughing... That expression 'gotcha...' I did not know who to go to, he was a VP of a big big company, no one wud believe me, I went to the loo and cried and then rest of my stint, stayed away from him...
In another job, my own boss who had a roving eye for all us girls would make us so uncomfortable that despite repeated complains to the Directors and even MD, he was never touched. He wasn't even a great performer... But the men in power refused to believe the girls who worked for the organisation. I remember I was told by a colleague, "so when u go to his cabin make sure your duppata is covering you nicely..." Yes I was told that... We all left the organisation but that man continued to be where he was...
In my last organisation, a very well known media house, in my stint of 6 years I heard sexual complaints by several colleagues... Each time I would go to the management and I could sense the uneasiness that the management had in dealing with the issues. Many a times I felt helpless, many a times I insisted that the concerned person should be issued a warning. The two times when the cases actually reached sexual harrasment committe, one could sense the tension. Both were cases where the abuser was victim's boss. In one case, the victim complained 3months after the incident and it pained me that everyone blamed her that she must have got a bad appraisal... Whatever happened in the committee, the woman, left the organization coz the boss wasn't asked to go and was just asked to apologise. How horrible I felt both as a woman and senior HR person... The next incident the woman complained immediately and the management had no option but to take action. The abuser was a blue eyed boy and several verbal complains had come against him but this was the 1st in writing... Action had to be taken and the management despite fear of hurting the business took the call. The girl was labeled as the one who got the boss ousted... The ousted boss left but not with an iota of remorse... It was almost like "you guys will suffer now...". My faith in HR and humanity was restored but for a bit...
Meanwhile I quit my job and became an artist. Only to learn some months later that the perpetrator had joined back the organisation. The same management who chucked him out rehired him despite a policy that you cannot rehire a person sacked on account of sexual offence. The management sided with the abuser. Giving clear signal to the women that profit comes before you. The person now in organization with even more power yet again crossed his limit. The victim raised her voice but management turned a blind eye and a deaf year... She left, still fighting on the outside, he continues as the boss...
Yes the blue eyed boy continues to rule... I am happy I am out of the dirty world and the women tell me he is back with a vengeance...
When the heads of a media house breaking stories and claiming that truth is their game, side with profits, with abusers, with chauvinism and patriarchy then what's the fault of people in smaller organisations who just look the other way... (that's what I thought and didn't allow myself to get angry)
But angry I am... Everyone has to go back and sleep and I often wonder if all these people ever sleep peacefully?
I know I do coz I did all I could to raise my voice, make a noise and force people to look...
#metoo, #metooinindia
Shubhra (c)
8th October, 2018
